


Recognition

by scottmczall



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 17:45:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2077302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scottmczall/pseuds/scottmczall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia contemplates her feelings and actions a little. Stiles tries to get something out of her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recognition

**Author's Note:**

> No one's dealing with loss in this fanfic. As a matter of fact, I don't think I'll be addressing death in any fanfic unless I want them to confront it specifically. Also, this is longer than i expected it to be. Hope they aren't ooc.

Where do you draw the line? When is it enough? Does it take feeding? Is it ever not hungry anymore?

Lydia kept asking herself those questions, looking at him walk down the hallway, sometimes alone, sometimes orbiting Scott... or Malia, more often than she cared to admit. He talked really loudly and with his hands. Sometimes he'd put them in his pockets, but that never lasted more than a few seconds. Her heart would pump right up whenever she remembered she loved him. Not that it is something that needs reminding, but admitting it to herself was breathtaking. It was like a punch in the stomach every time she heard own voice echoing the truth in her head.

So where do you draw the line when it comes to love? She was expecting for it to give in eventually, awaiting for the one day she'd think about it and her heart wouldn't fly to her throat.

"Whaddya thinking about, huh?" Stiles leaned against the locker beside hers, looking right into her eyes. No one else talked like that, looking so intensely at her. She thought it was unnecessary when they first started trading more than two words a day with each other, but now she knew it was vital.

"Nothing." Lydia took her time to answer that, still trying to figure out what was it about those eyes that made her want to get closer.

"Nah, I don't think that's true. But if it is, you're awfully concentrated in nothing, I'll give you that." He smirked, not showing any of his teeth, which was okay because those lips… She knew why those made her want to get closer.

"Maybe I was meditating." She reached for her book inside the locker, closing it right after she got it out. "Chemistry?"

"Yeah." He kept looking at her. Was he checking her out? No, that couldn’t be it. He was analyzing her.

"Stiles, I'm fine. Let's go." She shoved him and took his hand, leading him towards the chemistry lab. He was reluctant at first, but accompanied her gladly after catching up to her.

Their hands were entwined, like they always used to be, but it was different now. She felt wrong doing it. She thought of Malia. Lydia had no plans of hurting her, but it was hard not to give in to old habits when he wouldn't do anything to stop her. She slipped her hands off of his, silently, and walked into class.

She knew she was sending one hundred different signals, even though she didn’t really know if he was paying attention to any of them. One second she was smiling shyly at him at school or home alone, stupidly expecting that he would show up unannounced and sweep her off her feet, even if only with a conversation. But in the other she would hide shamelessly from him, making her now too familiar with the girls bathroom, the off limits zone.

The chemistry class went by slowly as she concentrated on not looking at Stiles. When is it enough? She asked herself once more. She wanted to know if the worrying ended and the neverending ache, the jealousy. She was so stressed out she could almost feel an ulcer creeping up on her. More often that not her thoughts would fly three months behind her, before Malia, when holding hands was okay. More than okay, actually… Expected. Then her imagination would flip from the bittersweet memories to uniquely bitter ones, like when Stiles’ thumb brushed Malia’s face, or when he placed his hand on the small of her back. And then the kisses. Every time they kissed Lydia felt like her brain opened a black hole that would eventually swallow her whole. She would always fight a hurt or nauseated expression, then excuse herself.

“Lydia, let’s go.” Stiles shook her shoulder, standing tall beside her. She was still sat and everyone was up and leaving the lab. Luckily she had done her assignments on the first half hour of class. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He frowned in worry.

“Yeah.” She was already standing up. “You can go, I’m staying at the library today.” Lydia almost sighed mid sentence. It was a ‘hide shamefully’ day. Unfortunately for her, he didn’t look like taking any of that this time.

“It’s fine, I have homework, I’ll stay.” Stiles rose one eyebrow like he was expecting an excuse. She kept staring at him, thinking of ways to blow him off without him noticing, but that was down right impossible now. He already knew it, he was just waiting for her to slip.

“Or you could do your assignments at your house.” She suggested not so subtly, which was very Stiles of her.

“Yeah, we can go to my house.” He narrowed his eyes at her. Lydia took a deep breath, still looking at him. So irritably insightful when it came to her. She couldn’t help but think about the oh-so-much-better situations where he could’ve been saying that and receiving a big ‘yes, please’ out of her. Even though it got her flustered, that was, unfortunately, the single worst out of any alternate situation ever.

“The library sounds great.” Her words came out on a breath. Stiles rolled his eyes at her, letting his books fall on the table in front of him.

“Lydia, wait." He asked calmly. "I know you don't wanna talk about it, ok? And most of the times I'm ok with that, I'm here for you," his voice was trembling, like he was in a rush. "but if this is what i think it is, I deserve to know."

Lydia didn't think she'd ever seen him talk to her so seriously out of a life or death situation or whatnot. His face held a rigid expression that made her heart beat faster and her stomach sink quickly.

"You know?" She frowned feeling the tears build their way up into her eyes.

"I need to hear you say it, Lyds." His eyes were pleading. He got closer, pushing the table aside.

She could hear her heartbeat in her ears as her palms went cold and numb. That was the most nerve wrecked she had ever felt.

"Stiles, Mal-"

"No, Lydia. Please. Just-" He licked his lips quickly. "just say it."

The knot growing on her throat was almost too much, pushing her to bowl her eyes out. The idea didn't please her, so she swallowed it along with her words. But words don't go away as easily as physical obstacles. They come rushing back and take you down. They give you in without permission, flying around like you were the one to let them loose.

"I love you." She blurted breathlessly, as if that took her all of her strength.

Does love take feeding? Lydia thought it did, when she looked at his fazed expression, mouth slightly open, not quite sure in what state of mind he was in. She wanted him all to herself, belonging to her as he should. It was selfish, maybe. Wrong, definitely. But she didn't care, because wanting does no harm.

"Holy shit." Stiles ran his hands through his face, looking around them. "Ok, Lyds, I'm gonna do something real quick..." He raced in two steps and grabbed her by the waist, making her lean on the tip of her toes to reach his lips as he arched down, kissing her desperately. Her hands flew to his hair, diving under, pulling gently. Stiles moved their bodies over to the left, making her back collide against one of the tables. She let out a moan as she felt the strike, but contrary to what she thought, he didn't stop to ask her if she was ok. Instead, Stiles lifted her, sitting her on the table, but finally breaking the kiss. They were panting as quietly as possible, letting out short breathless laughs.

"I'm not with her anymore, Lyds." He looked up at her. "I haven't been with her for a while. She could smell it all over me."

"And me?" Lydia asked quietly.

"No, not really." The boy shook his head lightly. "I kinda connected the dots, I guess. Or saw what I wanted to see and got unbelievably lucky? The universe will never be this good to me again." He closed his eyes, saying a silent prayer to anything, really. Lydia laughed harder this time.

"Thank god you confronted me. I'm not that good at keeping things."

"Yeah, you were all over the place." He nodded. "And you stared. Like, a lot."

"I did not!" The redhead gasped in outrage, widening her green eyes.

"Fine, fine. Let's pretend you were subtle."

"Stiles Stilinski thinks I'm not subtle. This is uncanny..." She grimaced, looking past him. Stiles shook his head, confused.

"What are you talking about? I'm the stealth mode king. Lydia if I didn't want you guys to see me you would have look for weeks before you found me." He stated lifting his index finger. "That's how subtle I am!"

"Let's just drop it." She showed him a tight smile, narrowing her eyes, and straightening herself gracefully on the table. They looked at each other like they were ready to wake up, then sealed their lips together again. Lydia wanted to be closer, pulling him as he did her, leaning over her body hungrily. It was like searching for something without knowing what it looked like. She was completely lost, strange to that flame that stung inside her. He pulled apart again, worried someone would see them in there.

"Are we still going to the library?"

"We're going to your house."


End file.
